


Here, drink this. You'll feel better

by Writing_in_SIN



Series: 100 Ways to Say 'I Love You' [18]
Category: Kamen Rider - All Media Types, Kamen Rider Ex-Aid
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Apologies, Canon Compliant, Gen, Guilt, M/M, Parad Needs a Hug, Post Rooftop Scene, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Relationship, Reconciliation, Soul Bond, Suicidal Thoughts, episode 40
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:01:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writing_in_SIN/pseuds/Writing_in_SIN
Summary: Overhead, the leaves sway and rustle; an accent to the winds. Tilting his head up, Parad stares at the sunbeams filtering through the leaves and counts the seconds each breath takes, wondering, if he takes longer between each breath, how much will it take to fall unconscious.How much will it take for him to drown again?
Relationships: Houjou Emu & Parad (Kamen Rider Ex-Aid), Houjou Emu/Parad
Series: 100 Ways to Say 'I Love You' [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1538683
Comments: 10
Kudos: 42





	Here, drink this. You'll feel better

**Author's Note:**

> If you like, come scream at me on [Tumblr](https://writing-in-sin.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Writing_in_SIN)

* * *

**"Here, drink this. You'll feel better."**

* * *

Parad sits outside at a secluded spot underneath a large tree within the hospital courtyard.

It's comfy and quiet

...peaceful.

The wooden bench under him is sun-warmed and old, smooth against his fingertips. Overhead, the leaves sway and rustle; an accent to the winds. Tilting his head up, Parad stares at the sunbeams filtering through the leaves and counts the seconds each breath takes, wondering, if he takes longer between each breath, how much will it take to fall unconscious.

How much will it take for him to drown again?

Closing his eyes, Parad sighs a breath out and waits as long as his body allows until he takes the next.

From one breath to the next, he hears the footsteps. They are hesitant but determined and when they stop next to him, he doesn't have to open his eyes to know who it is. Parad remains quiet and breathes out slowly.

Parad hears the rustle of clothing, feels a weight settling next to him and the warmth of a shoulder near his. Opening his eyes, he turns away from the trees to look to his side; finding Emu holding a flask in his hands.

The cold indifference is gone, replaced with compassion and hesitant concern as Emu offers him the flask.

"Here, drink this," Emu says softly, the kindness in his voice is almost like a physical blow. "You'll feel better."

How can this human be so kind to him after all that Parad has done? Is it a ploy to help him against Cronus? Is it pity?

All of the above?

In a daze, he blinks and slowly takes the proffered beverage with trembling fingers. When it gets so bad that he's worried he might drop the thing, Emu closes his hands around his in a gentle grip. It takes a couple of seconds until Parad is confident that he won't drop the flask and when he's sure, he pulls it to him and watches as Emu's hands fall away— taking the warmth with him.

"Thanks," he whispers, throat feeling like sandpaper. When he peers down at the flask, Parad is surprised to see that it's filled with hot chocolate topped with a generous amount of whipped cream and cinnamon. It's his favourite drink. However, it's not something Emu should know about after their separation. "Did you...make this?"

Emu nods, staring ahead as he fiddles with the sleeve of his doctor's coat. "Yeah. The break room in Seito is pretty stocked so it wasn't hard."

"How...?"

Emu glances at him, curious. "Hm?"

Parad wets his lips, tapping a finger against the flask. "How did you know that I like my hot chocolate this way? Or that I like hot chocolate at all?"

There's no reply for awhile and in the silence, the rhythm of their breaths, he notices, is starting to match. He feels Emu taking a long, slow breath in and lets it out.

"I'm not sure," Emu admits, thoughtful and maybe even wistful as he folds his hands on his lap. "It just felt... _right_."

Parad hums and doesn't look a gift horse in the mouth, taking a sip of the hot beverage and finds nothing out of the ordinary before he takes a larger swallow and sighs at the taste and fragrance. It warms him; reminds him of distant halcyon days that he can barely recall now. "You always did make the best drinks."

Though the memories are hazy, Parad remembers that Emu used to work part-time as a barista back in their high school days. If the human hadn't been so hellbent on becoming a doctor, Emu could've made a career as a barista almost as much as that of a pro gamer; good as he was.

"Gotta make up for my lack of cooking skills somehow," Emu jokes, sending him a tentative grin.

And Parad can do nothing but return it; feeling the knot in his stomach unwinding at the lack of ulterior motive in that simple gesture. He may not know how long this truce will last but, he's gonna cherish every second of it.

"I'm sorry."

Snapping out of his thoughts, Parad blinks to see that Emu is bowing low to him in his seat, hands gripping his knees until the knuckles turn white.

Mind racing, Parad is momentarily confused at the sudden apology; trying to recall why _Emu_ of all people would need to apologise until the recent memory of Muteki flashes by from the bond he shares with the doctor.

Oh.

Trying to stifle a bout of hysteria, Parad looks away as his grip on the flask tightens. "For what? I got the ending I deserved."

From the corner of his eye, he sees Emu flinching hard in his seat and raises his head; eyes bright with remorse.

"No, not an ending," Emu corrects quietly, a hand resting cautiously on Parad's arm. "A restart."

Tensing at the unexpected touch, Parad forces himself to relax when he realises that it's not a touch out to hurt; only to comfort. "I guess...still, why would you need to apologise though?

"Because I hurt you," Emu murmurs, the guilt and regret palpable even without the bond telling him so. "More than once, I've hurt you."

A bark of hysterical laughter bursts out before he can stop it. "I don't know if you noticed this, Emu, but I hurt you too. Many times." Shoulders slumping, he covers Emu's hand and grips it tight. "You did what was necessary."

There's a sharp intake of breath before Emu grips his chin to lock their gazes and Parad is dumbfounded at the sheer vehemence in Emu's eyes.

"Just because it was _necessary_ doesn't mean it was _right_ ," Emu states firmly before his features twist in pain and shame. "It was...cruel to make you understand that way. Especially after how I ignored you so many times."

His mouth tries to quirk up into a sardonic smirk but ends up in a grimace. "I've done far worse."

"Maybe." Emu releases his chin with a sigh, compassion and remorse unwavering. "I'm still sorry, Parad."

His vision swims, a lump in his throat as Parad tries not to fall apart by the seams at the genuine good will of his former host.

"Me too," Parad whispers eventually, a stray tear streaming down his face and feels Emu wiping it away with his thumb and Parad folds into himself, gripping white clad shoulders as gut-wrenching guilt and shame wash over him. "I'm so sorry for hurting you, Emu— for _everything_."

A hand grips the back of his neck, gently pushing him down to rest his forehead against Emu's and Parad blinks away the tears to see that the intern is smiling at him.

"I know," Emu says, eyes softening and catching the sunlight; warm and chasing away the cold. Tilting his head away, a determined glint settles in his gaze. "Let's change our fate together this time."

Parad closes his eyes, taking a deep breath and when he opens them again, Emu is still looking at him with a warm smile, his fist held out.

Returning the smile with one that feels far more real than all those in the past, he knocks their fists together. "Let's."


End file.
